setting boundaries
5 Things to Know Before the Holidays
Here we go again, heading into another holiday season marked with all the usual unknowns – and then some. This is the time of year where many of us have to take a deep breath, mentally prepare for days and weeks of gaslighting and guilt trips, and practice our frozen-smile gray rock faces. We try…
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A Covid Thanksgiving
What a strange, strange year this has been. Who could have imagined that as we prepare for what is typically the most traveled-for holiday in the United States, we would be more focused on setting up Zoom calls and washing our masks than making a connecting flight? And who knew that for some of…
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When You’re Too Much and Not Enough (At the Same Time)
It’s happening again. Your heart is starting to pound, your palms feel sweaty, and that little voice in your head won’t stop shrieking the same thing: It’s happening again! Those same little “jokes” that always seem to contain a sharp little jab; that same somehow challenging laughter as everyone looks at you expectantly, waiting…
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4 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries is a scary word for a lot of people. We often struggle with the concept because we don’t really understand what boundaries are and why we need them. For some, trying to say no or stand up for yourself in the past may have led to anger, rejection, guilt-tripping, or shaming behaviors. Others may…
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Asking Scary Questions: Is My Parent a Narcissist?
How do I know if my parent is really a narcissist, or if I’m just reading too much into it? What if I’m exaggerating or overreacting? Dear brave soul, how courageous you are to ask these questions! The pendulum swing from eye-opening amazement that there may be a name for your experiences to cringing…
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Going No-Contact: Why It Has to be Your Choice
The Question “Do you think I should go no-contact with my narcissistic mom?” “Do I have to see my emotionally abusive dad at the holidays?” “I don’t want to ever see my parents again, but I feel like cutting them off would be wrong. What do I do?” Hearing these questions…
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Healthy Boundaries: Why They Matter and How They Help
What are boundaries and why do I need them? Boundaries is a scary word for a lot of people. We get a lot of mixed messages about whether they help or hurt, how they should look, and whether they make any difference in our relationships. In some families and some relationships, “you complete me” is…
Read MoreSaying No is Not Mean
You have a loving family, a great friend group, and overall a pretty good life. You love being a good friend and feeling loved and appreciated by the people around you. Everyone knows you as the person to go to for good advice, a last minute ride to the train, or an ear to listen…
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A Time for You
Tis the season for many things: apple pies, warm sweaters, cinnamon candles, eating too much, and spending time with loved ones. Thanksgiving is one of our most family-centric holidays, kicking off a season of celebrations, parties, and dinners. We travel more around Thanksgiving than any other time of the year and it’s hard to imagine…
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