emotional abuse
Recognizing Gaslighting: 5 Common Phrases
Of all the tactics in the narcissistic abuse playbook, gaslighting has to be one of the most effective. It can be used against unwitting victims in a wide range of relationships, settings, and specific situations. It is hard to call out, because the very nature of the beast is to confuse and disorient victims. The…
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Mismatched memories: Speak your Truth
Mismatched memories Have you ever listened to two people tell the story of a shared experience? It’s amazing what differences can show up when two different sets of memories are at play. One person sees a red car run into a blue one at the intersection, while the person next to them swears it…
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Written in Love
Do you ever look back at your past and think, “There are many pieces of my earlier years that I would erase if I could – but this? This I would keep.” What are your keepers? What makes them special? One of my “keepers” from my earlier life is a favorite old…
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The White Knight Effect
Raise your hand if you are 1000 times more comfortable speaking up in defense of someone else than defending yourself. It feels so much better to help someone else weather a storm of emotional abuse than to take care of yourself, right? You get to feel like a Jedi Knight! You are standing up for…
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Why you still feel small around your emotionally abusive family
Learning the dance When I was in middle and high school, I performed in my dance studio’s annual, original Christmas show: The Adventures of Rudolph. Although the storyline differed from the classic animated movie and song, the show was beloved by young children throughout my area. At this time of year, we would have…
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There’s a Name for That: A Glossary of Toxic Relationship Terms
Toxic relationships can be hard to define Being in a toxic relationship but unable to pinpoint what is unhealthy about it can be crazy-making. When you know something is wrong but you can’t put your finger on it, you may second-guess yourself. Second-guessing can keep you in unhealthy relationships longer, leading to more pain…
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Going No-Contact: Why It Has to be Your Choice
The Question “Do you think I should go no-contact with my narcissistic mom?” “Do I have to see my emotionally abusive dad at the holidays?” “I don’t want to ever see my parents again, but I feel like cutting them off would be wrong. What do I do?” Hearing these questions…
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Mother Knows Best? Narcissism in Disney’s “Tangled”
Mother Knows Best? 5 Traits of Narcissistic Parents Q: What does a narcissistic parent look like? A: Mother Gothel in Disney’s Tangled. In this re-telling of the classic Rapunzel story, Mother Gothel is a narcissistic, emotionally abusive sorceress who abducts the infant Rapunzel from her crib. Mother Gothel raises Rapunzel as her own, isolating her…
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I’m the Worst: Impostor Syndrome and Internalized Gaslighting
A few weeks ago, I wrote a two-part miniseries about gaslighting. Today, I am going to follow up with a word about internalized gaslighting and its BFF: Impostor Syndrome. Impostor syndrome is a common problem for high achievers who have a hard time accepting themselves as high achievers. Despite evidence to the contrary, they tend…
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