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The White Knight Effect

Raise your hand if you are 1000 times more comfortable speaking up in defense of someone else than defending yourself. It feels so much better to help someone else weather a storm of emotional abuse than to take care of yourself, right? You get to feel like a Jedi Knight! You are standing up for…

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Tis but a scratch: The problem with ignoring your wounds

That’s right, we’re starting this blog article off with a Monty Python reference! I know, I know – I couldn’t possibly get any cooler, right?   Whether or not Monty Python sketches are your brand of humor, they have permeated our entertainment culture. Most people at least recognize the classics, such as “tis but a…

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Pick Your Hard

  Here we are again, another January filled with messages advising us of our need to change. Change your hair, change your body, change your lifestyle, change your perspective. In January the motivation and drive to create change reaches a fever pitch as we recover from the holidays, leading to resolutions and goals that may…

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The Post-Holiday Letdown

The decorations are coming down. The ornaments have been put away. The trees are out on the sidewalk, and most of us will be ok with not seeing another candy cane for 11.5 more months. Most holiday obligations have been fulfilled, and now we just have to find places to put all the stuff we…

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Reflecting on a year

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes How do you measure, measure a year?   “Seasons of Love,” from the Broadway musical Rent   Here we are again, just a few short days from the closing of another year. With the…

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A holiday blessing

They’re here! The holidays are upon us!   With only two days til Christmas, now is that time when it all gets a little more real. For those who choose to spend holiday time with their narcissistic family, it’s a time of deep breaths, pre-planning your exit strategy, and deciding how to respond to those…

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Practicing Self-Kindness During the Holidays

I know it’s cliche, but I’m going to say it anyway. Can you believe Christmas is only a week and a half away?! When did that happen?   It’s funny how time works with big events. They can feel so far off – until suddenly they’re looming up in front of you. The busy-ness of…

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20 Questions to Help You Gain Clarity

How many times have we seen it in movies – the main character is stuck at a crossroads and asks a question of his wise old mentor figure. (It’s usually something along the lines of “Which way do I go?”) And almost inevitably, the mentor replies “That’s the wrong question.”   Usually, the main character…

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I Am Grateful for Your Faults

In the children’s classic A Wrinkle in Time, Madeleine L’Engle’s very relatable heroine Meg travels across the universe (several times) to save her family. Despite her fears and her belief that she is deeply unprepared, Meg faces each obstacle as it comes. She suffers for her efforts, and has to come face to face with…

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Why you still feel small around your emotionally abusive family

Learning the dance   When I was in middle and high school, I performed in my dance studio’s annual, original Christmas show: The Adventures of Rudolph. Although the storyline differed from the classic animated movie and song, the show was beloved by young children throughout my area. At this time of year, we would have…

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